A study answered the question of whether you can find liars by having them draw.

Subjects were given a “mission” that included going to a designated location and meeting a person with whom they would exchange information. In all, four different missions were conducted. The particulars of the missions were constructed such that about half of the participants would, when interviewed, be able to tell the truth about what happened, and half would have to lie (the researchers used a fabricated espionage theme to work this out–very clever).

More interestingly, significantly more truth tellers included the “agent” (other person in the situation) in their drawings than did liars (80% vs. 13%). In addition, significantly more truth tellers drew from a shoulder-camera view than liars, who by and large drew from an overhead view (53% vs. 19%). In verbal statements, more truth tellers also mentioned the agent than liars (53% vs. 19%).

Using the “sketching the agent” result alone, it was possible to identify 80% of the truth tellers and 87% of the liars–results superior to most traditional interview techniques.

What makes it tough for most liars is that we don’t pay attention to what we do when we are just being normal.  That’s why darting eyes, stammering, and other cues can give unpracticed liars away.  Practiced liars are much better at hiding the truth but even that isn’t foolproof.

In a study it was found that parents trying to guess when their child was lying were only correct half of the time, equal to guessing.  The children had learned how to lie to the parents quicker than the parents had learned to catch the kid.  But the teachers could catch the children in the lie easier.

Drawing is a lie is not something anyone practices yet so they don’t know what normal is.  I wonder if parents could use this on their children to catch the lies?

PEOPLE WHO SEE THE WORLD AS BLACK AND WHITE TEND TO…
Speak their mind or make quick decisions.
Be more predictable in making decisions (e.g., who they vote for).
Be less anxious about making wrong choices.
Have relationship conflicts that are less drawn out.
Be less likely to consider others’ points of view.

PEOPLE WHO SEE THE WORLD IN SHADES OF GRAY TEND TO….
Procrastinate or avoid making decisions if possible.
Feel more regret after making decisions.
Be thoughtful about making the right choice.
Stay longer in unhappy relationships.
Appreciate multiple points of view.

If there isn’t an easy answer, ambivalent people, more than black-and-white thinkers, are likely to procrastinate and avoid making a choice, for instance about whether to take a new job, says Dr. Harreveld. But if after careful consideration an individual still can’t decide, one’s gut reaction may be the way to go.

Dr. van Harreveld says in these situations he flips a coin, and if his immediate reaction when the coin lands on heads is negative, then he knows what he should do.

via Wall Street Journal

We often let those three words stop us from trying and achieving, “Don’t Be Stupid”.

Sure it keeps us safe but I entered my 30′s with no police record, no embarrassing pictures to be found on the internet, so scars, no near-death experiences, and really no stories to tell.

The movie “Along Came Polly” encapsulates many of the risk-averse calculators. At some point in my 20′s I realized all of the cool stories I told happened to other people. But golly if I wasn’t really smart and mature – maybe even smug.

I wanted my own stories but I had missed my youth where it was more forgivable to be a dumbass. That left me wondering (calculating) if it was too late. At some point I started questioning if I was being so smart was actually dumb. Each experience leads you to learn and, hopefully, able to handle more of life’s ups and downs. I also realized I respected the people who pushed the limits more than the people who were like me, boring and sitting on safe edges of life. It’s safe but it isn’t living.

I am now a recovering risk-aversive and have some stories. One involves Vegas, some involve Mexico (where I never thought I would ever go due to my fear of foreign prisons), and others involve spontaneity which is not easy to calculate, and I am happier because of it.

If the above video isn’t enough to push you out of your comfort zone check out the book “Yes Man”. The movie didn’t do it justice.

I remember seeing a clip from a prank show of some sort where they did this same experiment. They went even further though. They had the second person pop up from behind the counter who was the opposite gender as the first person. Later they changed the race of the second person. Unfortunately I can’t find that video.

I wished this experiment had went a little further with that just so we could see how far removed we are from our daily experiences.

How important is your dream and what price would you pay to succeed?

A man decides to come up with his own theory and machine to fight his disease. Watch his struggle.

I am have often been the shy guy waiting for my social cues before I act, well actually, react.  What is the dynamic?  Do they talk ideas or experiences?  Do they pepper in salty language and how much?  I can cuss like a sailor but almost never if someone else isn’t.

I don’t think this is linked to just a basic leader vs follower situation either.  I have seen many people try to lead the group but fail miserably and be ignored.

Are you the first to clap in a group?  Do you hug others first?  (This is more of a guy thing.)  Do you call friends more than they call you?

Try to be the first to clap, the first to say thanks.  By acting you show yourself and put yourself out there more.  You may find your relationships will deepen.

Millions of people make their daily run to Starbucks, or whatever their favorite coffee shop maybe, believing that they need their caffeine fix to get going in the day.  If they don’t have the coffee they can’t function, or so they think and say.

First of all, most people can’t tell the difference between decaf and regular coffee.  See here also. So it isn’t a taste issue.Second, the amount of caffeine in your coffee varies per location and even per cup in the same store.

“We found a large a variance – larger than we anticipated – in the caffeine content in each of the espressos,” he said.
“The range was 25 milligrams to 214 milligrams, which was far greater than we’d anticipated.

That is an amazing variance.  Other searches online found smaller variances but the point is maybe you don’t need coffee.  Maybe it is more of a ritual than an addiction which creates a placebo effect.

“But it is a proven drug.  It has to work,” you think.  Not so fast.  There are over 1 million Google search results for “caffeine contradictory results“.  Here is one:

http://www.pe2000.com/caffeine.htm

New research into the effects of caffeine continues appear every few months and these reports frequently contradict one another – depending on who did the research, how many people were evaluated and, of course, who funded the research… So the definitive word on caffeine has not yet been agreed upon.

Caffeine affects each of us differently – a hit of caffeine that will cause insomnia in one person but can be a great nightcap for someone else.

So if there isn’t a taste issue and drinkers get different levels of caffeine with each cup, it isn’t about the jolt to the system.  It is about a ritual.  The ritual most likely started while watching parents and adults drink coffee – another one of the many things we do to feel like an adult as soon as we can.

Still unsure if it is a ritual?  Tell a coffee drinker, or more suiting, yourself, to take a tablet form of caffeine like No-Doz or Vivarin instead of your hit that you need so bad.  And few will do it, otherwise there would be Vivarin shops on every corner instead of Starbucks.

Instead of labeling it as a need, be honest and label it as it is, a want.  The more things that you can pull out of the need category the more control you have in your life and with your mind.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/plutor/ / CC BY 2.0

Choose what you want to be and start today.

Barry Schwartz explains how too many choices can paralyze us and reduce our happiness through high expectations. When we have few choices and don’t like it, it is their fault. When we couldn’t pick the right thing from many choices we blame ourselves. Why choice makes people miserable:

1. Regret and anticipated regret
2. Opportunity costs
3. Escalation of expectations
4. Self-blame

Think Baskin-Robbins vs whatever is left in your fridge.  As much as my friends make fun of my for not trying the new stuff, I am quite happy getting what I like instead of being disappointed just because I didn’t try something exotic. (By the way, if cigarettes are a nicotine delivery system than sushi is a soy sauce delivery system.)

Last example, my girlfriend and I could easily decided on a movie at the theater. There was usually only 1-3 choices.  At Blockbuster Video it took us any hour to decide and we got grumpy with each other.  I finally started bringing movies over and we would either watch them or something on TV.  Less time wasted and less snippyness.  That is not a word.