Don’t Let This Phrase Keep You Down: “Don’t Be Stupid”

We often let those three words stop us from trying and achieving, “Don’t Be Stupid”.

Sure it keeps us safe but I entered my 30′s with no police record, no embarrassing pictures to be found on the internet, so scars, no near-death experiences, and really no stories to tell.

The movie “Along Came Polly” encapsulates many of the risk-averse calculators. At some point in my 20′s I realized all of the cool stories I told happened to other people. But golly if I wasn’t really smart and mature – maybe even smug.

I wanted my own stories but I had missed my youth where it was more forgivable to be a dumbass. That left me wondering (calculating) if it was too late. At some point I started questioning if I was being so smart was actually dumb. Each experience leads you to learn and, hopefully, able to handle more of life’s ups and downs. I also realized I respected the people who pushed the limits more than the people who were like me, boring and sitting on safe edges of life. It’s safe but it isn’t living.

I am now a recovering risk-aversive and have some stories. One involves Vegas, some involve Mexico (where I never thought I would ever go due to my fear of foreign prisons), and others involve spontaneity which is not easy to calculate, and I am happier because of it.

If the above video isn’t enough to push you out of your comfort zone check out the book “Yes Man”. The movie didn’t do it justice.

Do You Act Or React?

Before an NBA game, the coaches have to submit their starting lineup.  Some coaches wait until the last minute, hoping to learn what the other coach is going to do so they can react almost like a counter punch.

I am have often been the shy guy waiting for my social cues before I act, well actually, react.  What is the dynamic?  Do they talk ideas or experiences?  Do they pepper in salty language and how much?  I can cuss like a sailor but almost never if someone else isn’t.

I don’t think this is linked to just a basic leader vs follower situation either.  I have seen many people try to lead the group but fail miserably and be ignored.

Are you the first to clap in a group?  Do you hug others first?  (This is more of a guy thing.)  Do you call friends more than they call you?

Try to be the first to clap, the first to say thanks.  By acting you show yourself and put yourself out there more.  You may find your relationships will deepen.

Getting A Shape

No plan?  No goal?  No direction?  Below is the difference between life by design and just being.

Choose what you want to be and start today.

Multitasking Is Official Over

Damn it! Stanford did a little study about multi-tasking, it didn’t bode well for us. Here are the headlines,

“Multitaskers Pay A Mental Price”

“Masters of Multitasking Fall Short”

“Multi-tasking Muddles The Brain”

You get the picture and I am sure you want to argue; so did I.  Except I kind of already realized it in the back of my mind.  I would turn down the speakers when I was writing something of great importance or putting together a thought.

They do say that multitaskers like to scan for information. So maybe it isn’t about us getting so much done but about us finding more information. I run my laptop and desktop at the same time. I am constantly bouncing between the two. Often one has a video and the other has work on it. I realize I am not as quick with the work as I previously believed but I understand I like the flood of information.

Now this may go along with the memory issue. I like to take in tons of information like Cliff Clavin, but I can’t regurgitate it all back to you. I quickly forget much of it. I know random things and I know useful stuff too. Twitter is like crack for my brain.

So maybe multi-tasking is really about keeping our brains occupied and not about us doing more which brings us back to Zen and the monkey mind racing around. So what do we value, grabbing information from everywhere while finding the nuggets or diligently sitting down and doing one thing at a time until it is done? I don’t have the answer yet. Do you?

Act

Take a look at the people that are successful.  Look at the people who get lucky.  They act.  They move.  

Whiners don’t act.  There are reasons why things don’t happen but the ones who make sure everyone knows the excuse don’t usually get far.  

One step, one motion is all it takes. Floss one tooth and see what happens.  Walk into the gym and see what happens.

Instant Change: The Holy Grail Of Self-Improvement

Instant change is rare.  Much like an “overnight sensation”, most change comes after a long time of trying. Many actors and musicians were discovered after a long time toiling in smaller venues or projects.  The self-help gurus will tell you themselves that they read and study much 

Instant change can come from a Significant Emotional Event.  Accidents, trauma, or death of a family member can cause a resetting of priorities. Though strangely enough, if you are facing death, the change you may acquire won’t stick 90% of the time. (Please remember to check out that link, it is riveting.)

You change when you get tired of being fat, tired, slow, broke, scared, or any number of things that you think you want to change.  And that is the key really.  There are so many things that we think we want to change but do we really?

If you procrastinate but still get the job done why fight yourself?  If you eat bad food and soda but your health numbers are in line is there a reason to stop?  Many studies say to extend your life you should eat low calories.  With that comes hunger pangs, constant chills, and low energy.  Is it worth it?  My diabetic father doesn’t agree and still eats what he wants, with no guilt.

Understand what you really want instead of suffering from the guilt of what you think you should be. “Iwant to be skinny because…” is not good goal or desire.  Some pathetic looking models and actresses are too skinny.  ”I want to run a 10K charity race for breast cancer awareness.”  That is a tangible goal that will bring the benefits right along with it.  Then find others that are running races.  You will learn, bond, and most likely change some behaviors that you wanted to change.

Change for the sake of change, or an image of change, should not be the goal.  The goal should create the desire for change.  I am sure many of you are familiar with the TV show “The Biggest Loser”.  On it most of the people say their desire to change comes from wanting to play with their childern and watch them grow up.  These people make some incredible changes but it isn’t instant, otherwise they wouldn’t have gotten that heavy  

If you read the link above about the 10% that did change, you read that it came from support – groups or families.  Our surroundings have a lot of impact on us and I give every skinny chef credit for that feat of control. What is the reason you think you want to change?  That is where you start on the road to the life you want.  If you can’t answer that question you probably won’t go far.

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